And to those who suffer. Suffering

Suffering

07.10.2016

Snezhana Ivanova

Suffering is a state of frustration and extreme dissatisfaction. Suffering in a person arises when desires that are significant for him for some reason have not been realized.

Suffering is an integral part of every person's life. We all strive for something, make certain plans for the future, but we do not always achieve what we want. At such moments, suffering comes, sometimes forcing you to be disappointed and give up ahead of time. Of course, not all life is spent in suffering, but everyone has some kind of blunders and losses.

Essence of Suffering

Suffering is a state of frustration and extreme dissatisfaction. Suffering in a person arises when desires that are significant for him for some reason have not been realized. The essence of suffering is that a person begins to feel an inner pain within himself, from which he cannot get rid of for a long time. Usually, suffering is caused by some internal unresolved problem that has several contradictions.

The essence of any human experience is reduced to a subjective sense of loss and insurmountable obstacle. Often, a person has a feeling that nothing can be fixed and that all that remains is to come to terms with his difficult lot.

The meaning of suffering

When you consider why people suffer, the answer is not easy to find. This question, more often than not, remains unclear. Many people see the meaning of emotional experiences in helping themselves to change, rethink important events of the past. However, few people consciously choose suffering for themselves as the path of spiritual transformation. Basically, only deeply religious people choose to suffer in order to clear their thoughts and feelings. They see the meaning of suffering in freeing oneself from oppressive experiences and additional temptations to commit a bad deed. An ordinary person rarely thinks about the meaning of suffering at all and even less often prefers to oppress himself consciously. The very essence of suffering for them has a different meaning: it is associated with injustice and resentment.

Causes of suffering

It is worth noting that suffering does not arise by itself, without apparent reason. What is the point for a man to torture himself in vain? Suffering comes into our life when certain circumstances take place, that is, a specific meaning arises.

Unjustified expectations

There are often times in life when something goes wrong, disagreeing with our inner beliefs and expectations. This happens because other people do not always know and understand what is required of them. In addition, each person puts his own meaning in the events taking place. Meaning is what motivates the personality, leads it forward, makes it develop. Accordingly, everyone has their own meaning of life. If we begin to make claims against a loved one who has chosen creativity for himself, and not family with such a meaning, a conflict will inevitably arise in the relationship.

Unjustified expectations also give rise to all kinds of suffering. A person begins to feel that he was forgotten or ignored on purpose in order to show how little he means in specific situation... Sometimes people do not even realize that it is absurd to take offense at a relative or acquaintance, because he has completely different values and priorities.

Betrayal and resentment

They are shaped by unjustified expectations. Let's say a person wanted to get some specific result from interacting with someone, but did not get it. As a result, there is a negative mood, a feeling of resentment. It seems that the opponent betrayed us and ruined the existing plans, although in reality he may not even guess that you expected something completely different from him. The feeling of resentment in itself is quite destructive: it does not give a person the opportunity to look for meaning in what happened, but immediately sets him up against his opponent. This is how suffering arises, which is characterized by a lack of mood, frequent tears, and a general disorder of the emotional background.

Focus on the ideal

The quickest way to experience suffering is to create an ideal image for yourself and try to fit reality to it. Disappointment in this case comes very quickly, bringing with it a lack of desire to act in the future. Mental pain often blocks any attempt to find meaningful meaning in the events taking place. Focusing on the ideal prevents a person from making plans, enjoying life, and invariably leads to suffering.

Forms of suffering

The form of suffering is the way to express it. People can express their feelings in different ways. Moreover, some unconsciously choose for themselves an active form of manifestation, while others - a passive one. The forms of suffering are divided into two large groups.

Open form

This form allows the person to reduce their suffering to some extent and focus on their own feelings. This is due to the fact that she does not ignore her emotions, does not suppress them, but actively expresses them. An open form is much healthier. In this case, a person will make efforts in order to achieve justice, to defend his own interests. He will not give in to his opponent, he will not engage in self-deception. An open form allows you to quickly cope with the situation, work through existing fears and other feelings.

Hidden form

Some people have great difficulty expressing their feelings. In this case, we can talk about a latent form of suffering. The latent form is expressed in the fact that a person cannot act openly when it comes to feelings, and therefore suffers even more. The latent form implies that the person keeps everything in himself, does not share his experiences with those around him. This form cannot have a positive effect on health: nerve cells are destroyed, tension and dissatisfaction with relationships accumulate. The latent form of suffering is always dangerous for the development of the personality, since it does not allow a person to be himself.

Thus, all suffering has its reasons, meaning and mode of manifestation. In some sense, it is sometimes even useful to rethink the events that happened in the past, to reassess values. This is necessary in order to let go of grievances, fears, sorrows and live on.

The ability to show compassion is a useful quality of human nature. Unfortunately, there are many people in society who do not see, do not hear, do not feel the pain of others. How to help those who suffer from indifference and those who are indifferent themselves?

The ability to compassion is embedded in the soul from childhood. A child should not grow up indifferent, so the example of parents plays a big role in this. Each of us needs to be able to respond to someone else's misfortune, to rush to help those who find themselves in a difficult situation.

Empathy is an important ability and need, it is a blessing and a duty.

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People endowed with a good heart live more restlessly than insensitive ones. Mercy does not allow one to pass by in need of support. Being involved makes life harder, but such people have a clear conscience. As a rule, they bring up good children and are respected in society. Even if it happens that those around them do not understand their actions, and the children do not meet expectations, they will not compromise their moral principles.

At first glance, life is much easier for the insensitive. They are like armor protected from unnecessary worries and unnecessary worries. Protection from external negativity is not an ability, but deprivation.

After all, sooner or later an indifferent person also needs help, but do they have the right to count on it?

I recently had the opportunity to meet a wise doctor. The senior professional visits their department frequently on weekends. He goes there out of spiritual necessity: he conducts conversations with patients on a wide variety of topics, knows how to instill hope for healing, and tune in to a positive mood in later life. In the course of many years of observation, the doctor came to the conclusion that people who have not had a chance to empathize and sympathize with someone else's misfortune are not ready for their own trials. They feel pitiful and helpless in the face of the blows of fate. Heartlessness, callousness, selfishness and indifference settled in the heart, cruelly take revenge on the owner, endowing him with blind fear and loneliness. After realizing one's own wrong, belated repentance usually comes ...

Empathy is one of the most important qualities of the human soul. But it should be expressed not only in words of support, but also in actions. Many people do not burden others with their sufferings, they silently endure them. We must go to their aid without waiting for a call. There is no radio receiver stronger than the human soul, you just need to tune it to the appropriate wave.

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Be moderate in happiness, reasonable in misfortune. (Periander)

The unhappy fate of many people is a consequence of the choice they did not make. They are neither alive nor dead. Life turns out to be a burden, an aimless occupation, and deeds are only a means of protection from the torment of being in the kingdom of shadows. (Erich Fromm)

All suffering is evil. It may be necessary, but its root essence does not change from this. (John Fowles)

Every conditioned existence is suffering. All suffering has a cause. The cause of suffering can be removed. There is a path leading to complete deliverance from suffering. (Buddha)

Suffering is like an iron plow that the sculptors have inserted into a mass of clay: it sustains, it is strength. (Honore de Balzac)

Sorrow is the most useful, the most soothing nest of man in this world, because no one can destroy this nest. (Fazil Iskander)

Suffering and joy rub against each other. When they get used to each other without a trace, happiness will be born. Such happiness will be indestructible. (Hong Zicheng)

There is no suffering stronger than remembering happy days in days of unhappiness. (Dante Alighieri)

Suffering! What a great and unappreciated phenomenon! We owe him everything that is good in us, everything that gives value to life; to him we owe mercy, courage, we owe all the virtues. (Anatole France)

The world is moving forward thanks to those who suffer. (Lev Tolstoy)

It is determined by suffering and grief to obtain grains of wisdom that cannot be acquired in books. (Nikolay Gogol)

Sadness is the flip side of joy. (Gilbert Chesterton)

Suffering fills the soul and consciousness of a person entirely, regardless of whether this suffering is great or small. (Victor Frankl)

Each person believes that the suffering that befell him is the greatest. (Hermann Hesse)

He who has not been raised by suffering remains a child forever. One who has not suffered is incapable of compassion. (Niccolo Tommaseo)

They say that misery good school; may be. But happiness is the best university. (Alexander Pushkin)

Only after living downstairs, you learn how dangerous it is to climb up. Only after being in the dark, you will know how bright the sunlight is. Only by keeping calm will you learn how much energy is spent by those who are on the move. Only by fostering silence, you understand how vain verbosity. (Hong Zicheng)

For the most part, people are more inclined to suffer than to fight in order to eliminate the cause of suffering. (Thomas Jefferson)

Mockery of other people's suffering should not be forgiven (Anton Chekhov)

It is better to endure some suffering in order to enjoy greater pleasures; it is useful to abstain from certain pleasures in order not to endure more severe suffering. (Epicurus)

True peace of mind comes from reconciling with the worst. (Lin - Yutan)

In this world, the most reliable entertainment for us is anxiety and suffering. (Anatole France)

This has happened in the life of each of us. Each of us at one time or another repeated, shedding tears: This love is not worth my suffering. We suffer because it seems to us that we are giving more than we are receiving. We suffer because our love is not recognized, not recognized. We were unable to introduce our own rules, so we suffer. (Coelho)

Do not be afraid of suffering. You have a strong soul, and therefore you suffer more than others and try to avoid it in every possible way. But suffering leads to heights and the whole world becomes better thanks to it. (Ivan Efremov)

Small sufferings drive us out of ourselves, while great sufferings bring us back to ourselves. (Richter)

Suffering is a stimulus for our activity, and, first of all, in it we feel our life; without it, there would be a state of lifelessness. (I. Kant)

No one can escape the Valley of Tears, but the pain will be less if we stop considering ourselves the protagonist of our own drama. (Leonard Cohen)

Thinking that someone else can make you happy or unhappy is ridiculous.
(Buddha)

Stomach ulcers do not come from what you eat, but from what eats you. (Marie Montague)

If we can still love those who made us suffer, then our love only becomes stronger. (Author unknown)

A courageous person usually suffers without complaining; a weak person complains without suffering. (Pierre Bouast)

The poor squashed insect suffers just like a dying giant. (Shakespeare)

Yes, I feel bad, but this is not a reason to cause suffering to others. (Aeschylus)

Man is kind because he has suffered. From suffering he got everything, even his genius. (France)

The suffering of the wounded is not relieved by the fact that the wound was inflicted on him with good intentions. (Pascal)

Suffering is like thunderclouds: from afar they seem black, but above us - barely gray. (Jean Paul)

Being familiar with suffering myself, I have learned to mitigate the suffering of others. (Publius Virgil)

The inevitability of trouble should not turn our life into expectation. (Krieger)

If you suffer - accept the suffering, for it will not disappear just because you pretend that it does not exist. You are happy - accept the joy, even if you are afraid that someday it will disappear. (Paulo Coelho)

Joy and laughter can hide a rude, cruel and insensitive nature behind them. But behind suffering lies only suffering. There is no truth that can be compared with suffering, sometimes it seems to me that suffering is the only truth. There is an extraordinary overbearing reality in suffering. (Oscar Wilde)

Real suffering comes when you notice how a bitter memory loses its bitterness.
(A. Camus)

People who have suffered a lot, but whom habit or forgetfulness has cured of suffering, have an amazing ability to be bored; this is because suffering, while making our life unbearable, at the same time fills it with such intense experiences that they make its emptiness imperceptible. (André Maurois)

An excess of suffering, like an excess of happiness, evokes violent feelings that do not last long. The human heart is unable to withstand their excessive severity for a long time. (Victor Hugo)

How pleasant it is to fall into hopeless despair. This gives the right to sulk for the whole world. (Sartre)

In earthly life, our sufferings are not excessively long or excessively great, because a person either overcomes them by force of habit, or becomes exhausted under their weight, and then they come to an end. (James Joyce)

Illness is not a misfortune, but a teaching and God's visit; the sick St. Seraphim was visited by the Mother of God; and if we humbly endure the illness, higher powers visit us. (Optina elders)

Only great pain leads the spirit to the last freedom, only it allows us to reach the depths of our being. And the one for whom it was fatal can proudly say about himself - I know more about life! (Friedrich Nietzsche).

Not an event ... is a misfortune, but the ability to endure it with happiness (M. Aurelius)

Compassion is an important ability and need, it is a person's blessing and duty. People endowed with a good heart live more restlessly than insensitive ones. Mercy does not allow one to pass by in need of support. Being involved makes life harder, but such people have a clear conscience. As a rule, they bring up good children and are respected in society. Even if it happens that those around them do not understand their actions, and the children do not meet expectations, they will not compromise their moral principles.

At first glance, life is much easier for the insensitive.

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They are like armor protected from unnecessary worries and unnecessary worries. Protection from external negativity is not an ability, but deprivation. After all, sooner or later an indifferent person also needs help, but do they have the right to count on it?

Updated: 2016-11-26

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