About the book

Dialogues were held throughout the week. Spiritual masters discussed the obstacles that prevent us from enjoying life, spoke in detail about negative emotions, their impact on a person and, most importantly, the answer to the question "what to do?" How to deal with anger, rage, grief of loss, ...

About the book
Two great spiritual leaders. Five days. One eternal question.

In April 2015, two of the happiest people in the world are laureates Nobel Prize The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu - met in Dharamsala to celebrate the eightieth birthday of His Holiness, look back at the years passed, full of difficult trials, and find the answer to the eternal question: how to find joy in life when we are overwhelmed by everyday adversities - from discontent with the road traffic jams to the fear that we will not be able to provide for the family, from anger at those who treated us unfairly, to the grief of the loss of a loved one, from the devastation that a serious illness brings to the abyss of despair that comes with death?

Dialogues were held throughout the week. Spiritual masters discussed the obstacles that prevent us from enjoying life, spoke in detail about negative emotions, their impact on a person and, most importantly, the answer to the question "what to do?" How to deal with anger, rage, grief, loss, despair, disappointment, envy?

Answering questions, the Dalai Lama and the archbishop give examples from their lives, communicating with the reader as equals, all the time emphasizing that each person, whether he is a spiritual leader or one of the modern people living in the hustle and bustle of the materialistic world, are characterized by the same emotional reactions. We all experience envy, get angry and lose loved ones, the difference is in how we react.

The courage of the Dalai Lama and the archbishop, their steadfastness and resilient belief in humanity inspire millions of people. They defy the fashionable cynicism that is sweeping over us today. Their ability to enjoy life is not superficial and was not easy for them; it is tempered in the fire of conflict, confrontation and struggle. Their destiny: a relentless reminder that the joy of life is a birthright. Joy is a much deeper concept than happiness.

At the end of the book, there is a list of practices - simple exercises that will help to align the psychological state and keep the inner core during times of stress and anxiety.

From the authors
We came to Dharamsala for a week to celebrate our birthdays, chat like old friends and create something that can be a birthday present for others. What could be more joyful than birth? But how much time do we spend in sadness, tension and suffering? We dare to hope that this small book will open the door for you to the world of joy and happiness.

The co-author of our book, Douglas Abrams, kindly agreed to assist us in this project and spoke with us in Dharamsala for a week. At our request, he combined our answers and his own narrative so that readers can learn not only about our vision and personal experience, but also what scientists and other great minds have to say about the source of joy.

You don't have to trust us. On the contrary, one should not take our words for an axiom. We, two friends who belong to two very different worlds, share with you what we have witnessed and what we have learned over a long life. We hope that you will try to apply our knowledge in practice and then you will understand whether there is truth in our words.

Every day we have a chance to start over. Every day is our birthday.

Who is this book for?
For each of us. For everyone who dreams of finding harmony and enjoying life.

About the authors
His Holiness the Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso is one of the world's most renowned leaders who has led his people for over fifty years as head of government in exile and spiritual leader of Tibet. In 1989, in recognition of his achievements in the struggle for peace and the solution of global problems environment His Holiness Tenzin Gyatso was awarded the Nobel Prize. Most recently, in 2007, he received Gold medal Congress, the highest civilian honor in the United States, for the defense of human rights.
Douglas Abrams - author of The Book of Joy
Douglas Abrams has worked as an editor for the University of California Press and HarperCollins. Founder of Idea Architects, a publishing and print media support agency that works with forward-thinking authors to make the world a wiser, healthier and more just world. In his life and work, he is interested in all aspects of human nature: body, emotions, mind and spirit.

3rd edition.

“The Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Abrams - The Book of Joy. How to be happy in a changing world "

Two great spiritual leaders. Five days. One eternal question.

In April 2015, two of the happiest people in the world - the Nobel Prize winners the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu - met in Dharamsala to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday, look back at the years gone by, full of difficult trials, and find the answer to the eternal question: how to find joy in life when we are overwhelmed by everyday hardships - from discontent with traffic jams to fear that we will not be able to provide for our family, from anger at those who treated us unfairly, to the grief of the loss of a loved one, from the devastation that a serious illness brings, to the abyss of despair that comes with death?

Dialogues were held throughout the week. Spiritual masters discussed the obstacles that prevent us from enjoying life, spoke in detail about negative emotions, their impact on a person and, most importantly, the answer to the question “what to do?”. How to deal with anger, rage, grief, loss, despair, disappointment, envy?

Answering questions, the Dalai Lama and the archbishop give examples from their lives, communicating with the reader as equals, all the time emphasizing that every person, whether he is a spiritual leader or one of the modern people living in the bustle of the materialistic world, has the same emotional reactions. We all experience envy, get angry and lose loved ones, the difference is in how we react.

The courage of the Dalai Lama and the archbishop, their steadfastness and resilient belief in humanity inspire millions of people. They defy the fashionable cynicism that is sweeping over us today. Their ability to enjoy life is not superficial and was not easy for them; it is tempered in the fire of conflict, confrontation and struggle. Their destiny: a relentless reminder that the joy of life is a birthright. Joy is a much deeper concept than happiness.

At the end of the book, there is a list of practices - simple exercises that will help to align the psychological state and keep the inner core during times of stress and anxiety.

Upon arrival at the Tibetan Children's Village, His Holiness and the Archbishop were escorted to a small library adjacent to the basketball court. Among the neat bookshelves and hanging essays in which the students explored the theme of joy, several students talked about how they got to this school. One of the girls shared that she came here with her grandmother, and her whole family remained in Tibet. Telling her story, she broke down and burst into tears. Archbishop Tutu Mpo's daughter hugged the girl and began to calm her down. She was able to finish the story, but when the next disciple could not cope with his emotions, His Holiness intervened.

He said: “Think about the fruits of your studies here, because you are not just getting modern education you are also learning about our rich culture. You learn your native language, which is by far the best mediator for the transmission of the deepest knowledge left by the teachers of the Nalanda Monastery-University. You should be proud of this. And who knows, maybe your generation will have to revive Tibet. "

The last boy to speak said he appreciated the opportunity to study here and tried to find joy in everything.

As His Holiness and Archbishop Tutu left the library and began to make their way through the crowd to their seats, the children gathered on the basketball court sang a song in Tibetan in honor of His Holiness's 80th birthday. Then they sang together the Tibetan version of the song "If you are happy, clap your hands."

When His Holiness was asked to say a few words to the audience, he turned to the Archbishop and humorously remarked that since he often chuckled at his English, today he will speak Tibetan. His Holiness noted that despite the differences in philosophical views between our many religious traditions, they all carry a common message of love and compassion. Archbishop Tutu, whom His Holiness sincerely admires, is a vivid and living testimony to this.

Touching upon the difficulties faced by the parents of the students gathered here, His Holiness said:

“We are receiving tremendous support from the Indian government. The whole world helps us. Through the kindness and help of others, you have the opportunity to learn. Please work tirelessly. We Tibetans are going through very difficult times, but we have not lost native language and culture. Please use this opportunity to learn to the fullest. "

Archbishop Tutu expressed his gratitude to His Holiness, the wonderful children and many adults gathered in the square.

“It is a great joy and honor for me to be here today. You are loved all over the world and we want you young people to know that while it may seem like a pipe dream to you, one day you may be able to return to free Tibet. We South Africans have lived for many years under a system of injustice and oppression. Many of our leaders and youth have gone into exile. It seemed that the series of repressions would never end, and the prisoners languishing in dungeons on Robben Island would never return home. And yet, - the archbishop continued without hiding his glee, - it happened. In 1955, our dear Nelson Mandela and other leaders were released and the refugees returned home. One day, you too, each of you, will see your beloved homeland again. You will be free from the harassment that caused you to leave. The Chinese government will understand that freedom is actually cheaper than oppression. ”

Archbishop Tutu added that it is a great honor for him to call His Holiness his friend, and who in the world does not think so. He continued: "I would like to thank the Indian government and the Indian people for opening their friendly arms to you, because they have preserved for all of us a priceless treasure that would have been lost without their help and support."

Looking around the schoolchildren, the archbishop exclaimed: “Look how beautiful you are! One day you will sing and dance in the streets of Tibet cities! "

Then the spiritual leaders expressed their willingness to answer the students' questions. The first question was addressed to His Holiness, who was asked whether it is worthwhile to hope that one day we will live in a world free from violence. His Holiness responded that there are many types of violence, including exploitation and corruption.

"If you are talking about serious physical violence, such as wars or the killing of people, then yes, I believe we can get rid of these forms of violence if we make the necessary efforts."

Archbishop Tutu was asked if it is possible to find happiness in material values, as many people are trying to do. He replied that more and more people are beginning to understand that material things by themselves cannot bring satisfaction. He added that even if a person possesses many things, an emptiness can nevertheless gap in his heart.

“I have met many young people from wealthy families who personally help those in need and find it much more satisfying.”

When His Holiness was asked how he deals with anger in his daily life, he replied that when he gets angry, he starts screaming. He recounted an incident in 1956 with one of the drivers who was fixing a car that belonged to the Thirteenth Dalai Lama. The mechanic accidentally hit his head on the car, and being angry, he hit it on purpose, and His Holiness asked: "What's the use?" He added that anger destroys our peace of mind.

“Reciting mantras and even reciting prayers for taking refuge will not help here. The only right decision is to train the mind. "

When asked if joy can be the source of world peace, His Holiness replied: “I believe yes, which is why people need to have a clear idea of ​​how to create joy. Harming others can bring short-term gratification, but lasting joy can only come from helping others. ”

Archbishop Tutu was asked how to find real joy and happiness, and he replied: “If we strive for happiness only for ourselves, it is very short-sighted, such happiness will not last long. Real joy comes as a reward when we have made others happy. Joy fills your heart when you give love, care, and compassion to others. Such joy cannot be found in any other way. You can't buy it with money. "

Answering the last question on environmental issues, Archbishop Tutu said: “We must remind people that this small planet is our only home, and if we continue to put it at risk, it will not be good for us. The polar ice caps are melting. Summer and winter are now too long. We just have to admit to ourselves: "Yes, something is going wrong." People are beginning to listen to the words of spiritual leaders who say that the Earth is our only home and we have a responsibility to take care of it. "

A group of musicians sang the song “We Are the World” on stage, and the audience sang along. Archbishop Tutu got up from his chair and began to dance. In conclusion, he went to the microphone and all those gathered with him at the head sang congratulations on his birthday to His Holiness, who at that moment was presented with a huge cake with many burning candles. Archbishop Tutu called the children to help His Holiness blow out the candles.

The birthday cake was then cut and distributed to the schoolchildren and other guests, while His Holiness, Archbishop Tutu and the Joy Team returned to McLeod Ganj, a suburb of Dharamsala sometimes called Little Lhasa.

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The book of joy. How to be happy in a changing world
His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Abrams
Edition format
Year of issue: 2017
ISBN 978-5-00100-643-5
Publisher:
Mann, Ivanov and Ferber
Series: MYTH. Horizon
Hardcover, dust jacket

In April 2015, two of the happiest people in the world - the Nobel Prize winners the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu - met in Dharamsala to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday, look back at the years gone by, full of difficult trials, and find the answer to the eternal question: how to find joy in life when we are overwhelmed by everyday hardships - from discontent with traffic jams to fear that we will not be able to provide for our family, from anger at those who treated us unfairly, to the grief of the loss of a loved one, from the devastation that a serious illness brings, to the abyss of despair that comes with death?

Dialogues were held throughout the week. Spiritual masters discussed the obstacles that prevent us from enjoying life, spoke in detail about negative emotions, their impact on a person and, most importantly, the answer to the question "what to do?" How to deal with anger, rage, grief, loss, despair, disappointment, envy?

Answering questions, the Dalai Lama and the archbishop give examples from their lives, communicating with the reader as equals, all the time emphasizing that every person, whether he is a spiritual leader or one of the modern people living in the bustle of the materialistic world, has the same emotional reactions. We all experience envy, get angry and lose loved ones, the difference is in how we react.

The courage of the Dalai Lama and the archbishop, their steadfastness and resilient belief in humanity inspire millions of people. They defy the fashionable cynicism that is sweeping over us today. Their ability to enjoy life is not superficial and was not easy for them; it is tempered in the fire of conflict, confrontation and struggle. Their destiny: a relentless reminder that the joy of life is a birthright. Joy is a much deeper concept than happiness.

At the end of the book, there is a list of practices - simple exercises that will help to align the psychological state and keep the inner core during times of stress and anxiety.

From the authors

The co-author of our book, Douglas Abrams, kindly agreed to assist us in this project and spoke with us in Dharamsala for a week. At our request, he combined our answers and his own narrative so that readers can learn not only about our vision and personal experience, but also what scientists and other great minds have to say about the source of joy.

You don't have to trust us. On the contrary, one should not take our words for an axiom. We, two friends who belong to two very different worlds, share with you what we have witnessed and what we have learned over a long life. We hope that you will try to apply our knowledge in practice and then you will understand whether there is truth in our words.

Every day we have a chance to start over. Every day is our birthday.

Who is this book for?

Quotes from the book

About fear, anger and sadness
Fear and anger are normal responses to stress; these emotions carry important information. Sadness can also be a signal that something in life does not suit us. These three emotions have arisen in the course of evolution to motivate a change in the current situation. To be human is to feel.

About happiness
It is of two types. There is pleasure we get from our senses. But happiness can also be experienced at a deeper level of the mind. Love, compassion, generosity - all these can make us happy. Sensual joy is short, but mental joy is more lasting.

About relationships
Joy is not something to be learned; they live with joy. And there is no greater joy than a close and selfless relationship.

About love
You need to love unconditionally, love all people regardless of how they treat us. Our enemies are the same people, our brothers and sisters, they also deserve love, respect and affection. This is what unconditional love means.

About attitude to yourself
We need to accept ourselves as we are and hope to become better. We can learn not to react to stimuli, to change ourselves, but we should not feel guilty if nothing works out right away. We are all human, and we must admit that we experience completely human emotions.

Foreword

Although they met five or six times in life, they were united by a much stronger bond than that which could arise during short visits. They considered each other "mischievous spirit brothers." Before they had never had the opportunity to spend so much time together, enjoying each other's company. Perhaps it won't.

Heavy steps of death accompanied our conversations inexorably. The date of the trip was postponed twice: the archbishop was supposed to attend the funeral of his peers. Health problems, global politics- the circumstances seemed to deliberately interfere with their meeting. Everyone understood that this visit could be the last.

We spent a week under the light of dim lamps, positioned so as not to harm the sensitive eyes of the Dalai Lama. We were filmed by five video cameras. Trying to understand what happiness is, we sorted out a lot of deep life questions. The purpose of the search was the source of true joy - a state that does not depend on the vicissitudes of fate and circumstances.

We knew we needed to analyze the obstacles that make happiness seem elusive. In their conversations, the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop gradually identified eight foundations of joy. Four are in the mind, four are in the heart. The two great spiritual leaders agreed on the most important things, but on some points their opinions differed, and this shed light on new facets. We tried to piece together important knowledge that would help readers enjoy life in an ever-changing world full of pain and suffering.

Every day we drank warm Indian tea and broke bread - Tibetan cakes. The film crew were also invited to the daily tea and lunches. One morning, the Dalai Lama even invited the archbishop to attend a meditation at his residence, and the archbishop gave the lama the sacrament, a ritual that non-Christians are usually not allowed to undergo.

At the end of the week, we celebrated the Dalai Lama's birthday at the Tibetan Children's Village, a boarding school for children fleeing Tibet. At home, the Chinese authorities prohibit them from studying the Tibetan language and culture. Parents send their children through mountain passes with guides who undertake to take them to one of the Dalai Lama's schools. It is difficult even to imagine the pain of parents sending their children away from their homes. They understand that they can see them not earlier than in ten years. Or maybe they won't meet again at all.

But on that day, more than two thousand students of the Tibetan school, who had survived so many hardships, cheered the Dalai Lama, whom the archbishop, a lively dancer, enticed for the first time in his life to perform several hesitant dance moves - and this despite the fact that monastic vows forbid lamas to dance.

The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu are great spiritual teachers of our time. However, their teaching is not so much religious as moral. It transcends religious dogma; in him there is anxiety not only for “his own” - for all of humanity. The courage of the Dalai Lama and the archbishop, their steadfastness and resilient belief in humanity inspire millions of people. These leaders defy the fashionable cynicism that sweeps over us today. Their ability to enjoy life is not superficial and was not easy for them; it is tempered in the fire of conflict, confrontation and struggle. Their destiny is a relentless reminder that the joy of life is a birthright. Joy is a much deeper concept than happiness.

“Joy,” the archbishop said at one of our meetings, “is much more voluminous than happiness. Happiness is often perceived as something dependent on external circumstances. Joy does not depend on them. " The Dalai Lama and the Archbishop agree that it is this state of mind and heart that inspires life and fills it with satisfaction and meaning.

Friends talked about what the Dalai Lama called "life purpose" - the desire to avoid suffering and find happiness. They shared the knowledge of how to live and enjoy, despite the inevitable troubles - knowledge that was not easy for them. Together we tried to figure out how to transform joy from a transitory state into a permanent quality, from a fleeting feeling into a long way of being.

From the very beginning, we saw this book as a kind of three-layer birthday cake. The first layer is the teachings of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu about joy. Is it possible to maintain joy when we are overwhelmed by everyday hardships - from discontent with traffic jams to fear of not providing for a family, from anger at those who treated us unfairly, to the grief of losing a loved one, from the emptiness that accompanies a serious illness, to an abyss of despair, coming with death? How to come to terms with the reality of life without going into denial? How to overcome pain and suffering that cannot be avoided? And even if nothing bothers us, how to live and rejoice when so many people around suffer? When monstrous poverty deprives people of the future, the streets are flooded with violence and terror, and environmental disasters call into question the very possibility of life on the planet? The first part of the book contains answers to these and many other questions.

Second layer - newest Scientific research the phenomenon of joy and other qualities that, according to the archbishop and the Dalai Lama, are necessary to feel happy day after day. New discoveries in brain science and experimental psychology have led to a deeper understanding of what a person needs to be happy. Two months before the trip, I met with Richard Davidson, a neuroscientist and pioneer in the study of the phenomenon of happiness.

He conducted laboratory observations of meditation practitioners and came to the conclusion that this activity has a very beneficial effect on the brain. Davidson and I were sitting on the street terrace of a Vietnamese restaurant in San Francisco. The unabashed winds of the Pacific blew his black and gray hair. We ate spring rolls, and Richard recounted how the Dalai Lama once confessed that he is very encouraged by the latest scientific research supporting the benefits of meditation - especially when it comes to getting up early in the morning, sitting down and practicing. Since science helps the Dalai Lama, it will help us too.

Spirituality and science are often presented as conflicting forces - one seeks to stifle the other. However, Archbishop Tutu believes in "self-supporting truth" - the moment when different areas of knowledge converge on one. The Dalai Lama also emphatically emphasized that this book is not about Buddhism and Christianity; it is universal, and what is stated in it is not just personal opinion or traditional views, but confirmed scientific data. (By the way, I am a Jew and I do not consider myself to be any religion. As in the joke: a Buddhist, Christian and Jew walk into a bar ...)

The third layer of the birthday cake is the story of a week spent in Dharamsala with the Archbishop and the Dalai Lama. These chapters are inspired by close communication, they are very personal and invite the reader to join us - from the first hug to goodbye.

At the end of the book, you will find several exercises to help you find and maintain joy in life. The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu shared their daily practice - the "anchors" of emotional and spiritual life. This section does not offer a ready-made recipe for a happy life, but only introduces the thousand-year-old techniques and traditional practices that honestly serve the Dalai Lama, the archbishop and many people professing Buddhism and Christianity. These exercises will help you integrate what you read in the previous three sections into your daily life.

I have had the privilege of working with many of the great spiritual teachers and leading scientists of our time. I have helped spread the knowledge of joy and health among people. (Many of these scholars have contributed generously to the creation of this book.) I am confident that my fascination - although not, rather, an obsession - with the nature of joy has its roots in childhood. I grew up in a loving family, but depression lived in the house, hanging in an inevitable black cloud. From an early age I witnessed this pain, felt it and I know that a person's suffering is often born in his mind and heart. All my life I have been trying to understand the nature of joy and suffering, and this week in Dharamsala was an amazing, albeit difficult culmination of my search.

For five days, I, the people's ambassador, listened to the conversations of two of the most merciful people on the planet. I looked them in the eye. And although I do not believe in the slightest in the supernatural sensations that many allegedly experience in the presence of spiritual teachers, from the very first day I heard a strange hum in my head. I was surprised, but perhaps those were mirror neurons processing knowledge that these two kind people exchanged with me.
Fortunately, I had someone with whom to share the responsible task of transposing wise knowledge. From the first to the last day, I was accompanied by Tupten Jinpa, a Buddhist scholar who served as a translator for the Dalai Lama for over thirty years. For many years he was a Buddhist monk, but he gave up monastic attire and chose to live with his family in Canada. Thanks to his past, he became an ideal translator not only of the language of words, but also of the language of concepts. We sat side by side during our conversations; Jinpa also helped me prepare the questions, translate and interpret the answers. He became my trusted partner and good friend.

The questions were not composed by me alone. We offered this to the whole world: anyone could ask about the nature of joy. Although the preparation was only three days, more than a thousand people turned to us. And surprisingly, the most common question was not how to find joy for yourself, but how to enjoy life when there is so much suffering in the world.

Over the course of this week, I have repeatedly seen the Dalai Lama and the Archbishop jokingly wag their fingers at each other, and after a minute they joined their palms in a friendly handshake.

At the first dinner, the Archbishop recounted how they had once performed together. Just before entering the stage, the Dalai Lama is a symbol of compassion and peace for the entire planet! - pretended to strangle the archbishop. He turned to his younger spiritual brother and said: “Hey, we're on camera! Come on, behave as befits with in I t about sh am! "

The Dalai Lama and the Archbishop remind us that only our daily actions matter. Even the "holy men" have to behave accordingly. We imagine them to be serious, stern, pious and restrained.

And they prefer to greet the world and each other in a completely different way.

The archbishop never claimed to be a saint. The Dalai Lama considers himself a simple monk. Their fate is an occasion to reflect on how these two people managed to find peace, courage and find the joy of life amid the pain and chaos that fills our reality. They can become an example for us.
In this book, spiritual leaders try to convey to readers not only their deep wisdom, but also the commonality of human nature. Suffering is inevitable, but how we respond to it is a personal choice. Neither oppression nor occupation can take this freedom away.

Until the very last minute, we did not know if the archbishop would receive the permission of the doctors to fly. Prostate cancer returned and this time did not respond well to therapy. Desmond Tutu is currently undergoing experimental treatment; perhaps with its help it will be possible to resist the disease. But when the plane came to land in Dharamsala, I was most struck by the archbishop's joyful excitement from the anticipation of the meeting.

On his face one could easily read excitement and, perhaps, a shadow of concern, showing through a wide smile and sparks in blue-gray eyes.

Douglas Abrams