Each person has his own strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes it is almost impossible to notice them at first glance. Thanks to the advice and recommendations of psychics, you will learn to understand people and understand which of your friends is better to stop communicating with.

We often give advice to our family and friends about which people we should communicate with and which we shouldn’t. Why do some people dislike us at first sight? In fact, it is not so difficult to understand what kind of person is in front of us. Of course, first of all we pay attention to human behavior. Sometimes we have to be surrounded by arrogant and arrogant people who immediately alienate others. However, only based on these negative qualities it is impossible to make a complete psychological picture person. It will take time and effort to learn to understand people, and the advice of experienced psychics will help you with this.

Basic types of people

No need to possess psychic abilities To find out a person’s character, it is enough to follow the advice of psychics. With their help, you will learn to understand people, and you will also be able to understand what goals they are pursuing and what they want to hide from others.

Emotional person. The easiest way to recognize an emotional person. Such people never hide what they feel. They are impressionable and sometimes unbalanced. They express their attitude towards life and the people around them only through thoughts and emotions and never hide their hostility or sympathy. Psychics claim that it is very easy to find an approach to such people, but interaction with them is not without potential dangers. Communication with overly emotional people usually depletes the energy reserves of the interlocutor. In addition, an emotional person is unlikely to listen to your problems and experiences, but he can talk about his troubles for a very long time.

Negative person. The hardest type of people. Most often they are overwhelmed with negative emotions, and because of this they are embittered at the whole world and at the people around them. They conflict not only with strangers, but also with loved ones, and sometimes relatives get much worse from them. Negative people have low self-esteem, they scold themselves for any mistake and are always unhappy with the result of their efforts. Communication with them is very difficult, because they do not like to open their souls even to close friends. Psychics believe that it is possible to find an approach to such people. To do this, you must show more attention to them and be interested in their experiences. However, do not try to get close to a negative person, otherwise you will become a personal psychologist for him, and not a friend.

A man without emotions. As you already understand, identifying an emotional person is not difficult. But people without emotions rarely give themselves away. Sometimes they are so calm and unnoticeable that in a noisy company you won’t even pay attention to them. Only after talking with such a person will you be able to understand that this is a true alextimic. They rarely show their emotions, they do not care about the lives of other people, and it is almost impossible to impress them. They believe only in what they can see or touch, which means that talking about something higher and spiritual will not arouse their interest.

Energy vampires. If after communicating with a person you feel weak and apathetic, it means you had to deal with an energy vampire. They take joy in the suffering and torment of other people. They do not know how to rejoice for the victories of their colleagues or those around them; on the contrary, at such moments they experience only negative feelings. It is very easy to recognize them. During communication, they are overly curious and try to touch you. They themselves do not share information about themselves, and if the conversation does come up about them, they immediately try to change the subject. Psychics strongly recommend avoiding communication with energy vampires, as it will have a detrimental effect not only on your energy, but also on your health in general.

Manipulator. From the point of view of psychics, a manipulator is one of the most complex types. At first glance you won't even recognize it. He looks discreet, and he is not the most interesting person to talk to, but despite this, he skillfully ingratiates himself into trust. Why does he need this? In order to manipulate others and take advantage of their trust for their own purposes. Manipulative people seek help more often than others. They borrow money, borrow your things and don't return them, but most importantly, they promise that this is the last time they ask you for help. Communication with such people seems harmless only at first, but soon you will realize that you are simply being used.

The advice of psychics has helped us more than once in difficult life situations. Sometimes we create problems for ourselves, especially if at the time of communication we do not monitor what and to whom we say. Do not forget that not all people are able to rejoice at your successes and sympathize with your grief. Psychics compiled

How often do we from the outside give advice to family and friends that this person cannot be trusted, but this one can. But when it comes to ourselves, situations constantly arise when we find ourselves deceived, betrayed and abandoned. It is at this moment that a desire arises to learn to understand the character of people, to understand what they are really pursuing, and whether it is worth continuing communication at all.

Psychology has long unraveled all the secrets of character and offers methods for understanding personality. This is not only the division of people by temperament, but also the ability to unravel the meaning of gestures and reactions to a particular situation.

Personality temperaments

Still, it is worth starting the study of personality psychology with basic knowledge. These include temperaments. There are 4 of them in total, but do not forget that there are also mixed traits that are not discovered immediately, but during long-term communication.

Phlegmatic person. Distinctive features: regularity, slowness, even lethargy. Such people rarely show emotions, they simply do not know how to do it. Finding themselves in a difficult situation, phlegmatic people begin to analyze it. To others, isolation seems like arrogance and arrogance, but this is not entirely true. Often a typical phlegmatic person turns out to be a sweet, sympathetic person who can become a true friend.

Sanguine. The complete opposite of a phlegmatic person. Sanguine people are open and cheerful people who take on any task and agree to adventures. But the problem lies in the fact that they quickly get bored with everything. The mood can change completely suddenly. In addition, they are very superficial even towards their loved ones.

Choleric. This type is distinguished by sharp, explosive character traits. Cholerics are very temperamental, they act under the control of emotions, which they may greatly regret later. But they are more sincere than sanguine people. If you come to terms with certain character traits, the choleric person will become a faithful friend or companion for life.

Melancholic. Such people are very sensitive, they are easy to offend, but also easy to win. Melancholic people are characterized by a sad mood and uncertainty; they are often withdrawn and avoid communication. Due to their nature, they become attached to one person for life and experience breakups painfully. It is difficult to be friends with melancholic people, but you can always tell him about your experiences, and he will understand and support.

There are many tests to determine temperament, but their result will never be certain. A pure personality type does not occur in nature; usually one of them dominates, and the other complements it.

Getting to know a person can already give us enough information to decide whether to continue communication or not. This is not about external data, which can be attractive or vice versa, but a deeper analysis of the characteristics of the interlocutor. There are several patterns of behavior that can tell you a lot.

Imagine the situation that you are on a blind date or a young man or girl has approached you to get acquainted.

During the conversation, pay attention to the following details:

1) The ability to adapt to the situation. For example, you agreed to meet in a cafe. Test his emotional stability by offering to go to the cinema, because there is a film on there that you have long wanted to see. If a newly made acquaintance begins to argue for the illogicality of such a decision, most likely you have come across a personality type with a lack of adaptation skills, that is, the ability to quickly make decisions and switch from situation to situation. Soon the relationship will become a burden for you, because there will be a great many such antics.

2) The ability to listen. This is a very important point, because you either have attentiveness to your interlocutor or you don’t. And there's nothing you can do about it. Being interested in how you are doing, he will never ask why - this behavior trait speaks of false interest.

3) In a conversation with a person, try to find out as much as possible about his environment. Who does he communicate with, what are his family relationships like? If he shares his stories with interest and talks about having real friends, then feel free to continue your acquaintance. It’s worth thinking about when the interlocutor begins to complain about everyone, that he was abandoned and betrayed. Agree, it rarely happens that everyone turns away from a good and selfless person in an instant.

These rules apply not only to the example given, but also to any similar situation. For example, in the business field, when you are going to hire an employee or plan a collaboration.

If you have become more than acquaintances

When you spend a lot of time together at work or while pursuing a common hobby, you have the opportunity to carefully observe a person and study his character traits. Soon you will learn to draw up a psychological portrait and understand how a friend or colleague treats you.

Observe the following character traits:

1. Emotional stability. If your friend reacts violently to every situation that happens to him, you will soon feel his emotions on yourself. Many people are looking loved one to pour out your negative emotions on him, thereby freeing yourself from them. If you feel depressed and low on energy after meetings, then you shouldn’t continue.
2. User attitude. We all love when we are praised and given compliments, but often this is not from the heart, although we would like to believe otherwise. If a work colleague or friend, after a short acquaintance, begins to ask you to replace him or to carry out an assignment, then you are being taken advantage of. This is especially noticeable when the requests become significant and come at the expense of your time and personal life.
3. Pretense. Take a closer look at how a person behaves with you alone and in company. An honest and decent friend will not change his tactics and pretend to be someone else.
4. The desire to be near you. If an acquaintance strives to spend a lot of time in your circle, asks about your interests, takes your opinion into account, then he sincerely wants to become a friend or something more. If he often has urgent matters, he is constantly busy, then do not waste your precious time.

Each of us knows these seemingly simple rules. But during the period of communication with a person who is attractive, they are forgotten. Therefore, maintain your common sense and evaluate people not by their external qualities, but by their attitude towards you.

Most often, the reason why we want to learn to understand people is the reluctance to remain deceived. Therefore, you should remember a few gestures and habits that will help you understand whether a person is lying or telling the truth.

They communicate with you sincerely if:

• eyes look into your eyes;
• the interlocutor has a free posture, arms and legs are relaxed and in a natural position;
• speech is connected, voice is even;
• the person answers your questions quickly and without hesitation;
• smiles sincerely - along with the lips, this emotion is also expressed by the eyes.

You are being deceived if:

• when talking, the gaze often moves from one side to the other;
• arms and legs are crossed, movements are sharp. Often the deceiver cannot find a place for himself;
• the voice changes intonation. If a person is lying, then he unconsciously tries to speak more quietly;
• the speech may be incoherent, the interlocutor is confused about the facts, takes long pauses;
• he smiles without raising the corners of his mouth. This facial expression is more like a grin.

The more points tilt you in one direction or another, the more accurate your guesses will be. But still, it is worth taking into account some irritating factors, for example, an unfamiliar environment, noise, or poor health of the interlocutor. Therefore, conclusions should be drawn carefully.

To accurately learn to see through people and guess their intentions, experts in personality psychology advise developing useful skills. They will help not only in relationships with people, but also in any life situation.

What you need to do to be able to understand people:

1. Develop intuition. Your subconscious knows a lot more than you think. It stores all the impressions, good or bad, received from communicating with people. Therefore, sometimes you seem to feel your inner voice telling you whether to trust a person or not. Learn to hear it, and you will be able to intuitively guess the catch.
2. Apply knowledge through experience. You can read as much literature as you like, but if you don’t practice, your knowledge will remain useless. At first it will be difficult to remember the subtleties of psychology, but soon it will become a habit.
3. Learn to analyze. A person can seem like a true friend for a very long time and behave with dignity, but someday the deception will be revealed. This will be indicated by seemingly insignificant details. Therefore, learn to pay attention to the nuances of behavior and habits of the people around you, because a person cannot pretend all the time.

Once you start observing those around you, you will see how much falseness and insincerity there is in them. But don't let this shock you. After all, good people will always be nearby, and you will feel calm and confident with them, without thinking about betrayal and lies.

Video: how to understand people

WikiHow works like a wiki, which means that many of our articles are written by multiple authors. This article was produced by 16 people, including anonymously, to edit and improve it.

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The better you understand people, the fewer disappointments you will encounter along the way. Being enchanted, we endow a person with qualities that are unusual for him, and we are surprised by unexpected actions and words. Learn to see people in their true light.

Sometimes we hear people say: “I know you well!” - "How so? - we are surprised. “Someone claims that they see right through me, but I don’t really know myself.” I thought I was brave, but yesterday I was a coward. I thought I was calm, but today.”

How to understand both yourself and people

Radical option

Vladimir Vysotsky in “Song about a Friend” advised doing this:

“If a friend suddenly turns out to be

And not a friend, and not an enemy, but so,

If you don't understand right away

Is he good or bad?

Pull the guy to the mountains, take a risk,

Don't leave him alone

Let him be in a relationship with you,

There you will understand who he is."

And if he “immediately went limp and down, stepped onto the glacier and wilted, stumbled - and screamed, ... don’t scold him - drive him away.” “And when you fell from the rocks, he groaned, but held on... so, just like yourself, rely on him.”

A good way to get to know your friends better, but too extreme. The same as “go on reconnaissance together.”

An option that takes time but does not guarantee results

According to the saying, in order to get to know a person well, you need to “eat a pound of salt” with him, that is, at least 16 kilograms. According to physiologists, on average, each person eats 5 kg of salt per year. This means that it will take them almost 2 years to get to know each other better.

Option three: rely on first impressions

People say: “the most true thing”, “The first thought is from God, the second is from the devil.” “The Iron Lady” noted: “It takes me 10 seconds to form my impression of a person, and in the future it very rarely changes.”

However, not all people think like Thatcher, and in the same way as her. Therefore, along with the statement that the first impression is the most correct, there is another: “The first impression is deceiving.”

Option four: folk wisdom

A young man once asked a wise old man: “How to learn to understand people: who should be afraid of and who should be afraid of?” “First I’ll tell you who to fear,” said the old man. - Most of all, fear the meekest, the most pious and humble, the one who flatters you, embraces you and swears fidelity. He will be the first to betray you." “Whom to trust then?” the young man asked in surprise. “Trust the one who says, no matter what it is. He will be the first to come to your aid,” answered the old man.

Option five: learn from the classics

German psychiatrist Karl Leonhard developed a classification of characters, which he described in the first part of the monograph “Accented Personalities.” There are demonstrative personalities here, excitable ones, anxious ones, pedantic ones, and many others. The most accurate conclusions about personality type, wrote Karl Leonhard, are made on the basis of observation and interview.

In the second part of the monograph, which is called “Personality in Fiction,” he analyzes the characters of the heroes of the works of classics of world literature: Dostoevsky, Honore de Balzac, Leo Tolstoy, etc.

Doctor of Psychology Arkady Egides also gives his advice on how to understand people in the book “How to understand people, or Psychological drawing of a personality.”

“Why is this necessary?” he asks. And he himself answers: “To know what to expect from them, in order to interact with them correctly, as well as on them. By describing in detail different psychotypes, the author gives us the opportunity to understand them so that we can see in people, protect ourselves from and manage the situation.

One example: if a person of a hysterical type screams how much he hates you and leaves “forever,” know that he will certainly return as soon as you show increased attention to him. If the epileptoid silently collects his things and leaves, this could really be forever.

“How to understand people?” - this question usually begins to worry us only after we make a big mistake about someone. We thought that next to us was a reliable person, but he Hard time disappeared. And vice versa - someone we didn’t even hope for offered his help. “After all, there are probably some signals and signs by which we can recognize what kind of person is in front of us,” we think. Yes, they exist, but we don’t notice them and continue to step on the same rake.

1. Body language and facial expressions

First of all pay attention to , gestures and facial expressions our interlocutor. The Australian writer, also known as “Mr. Body Language,” talks in detail about how to read the thoughts of others by their gestures in his book “Body Language.” From it you can find out what clasped fingers, arms crossed on the chest, stroking the chin, rubbing the eyelids and much more mean. And if we are an attentive reader, a good student and an observant person, we can easily guess the true intentions of our interlocutor.

2. Next, we determine temperament

Who is in front of us? Sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic? (Of course, people with one or the other in a pure form are very rare; usually they are mixed types with a predominance of one.)

Our friend - ? He is disorganized, but active and cheerful. ? Let's not reproach him for pessimism and drag him into noisy companies. ? Let's ask him to help resolve it conflict situation, because phlegmatic people are peacemakers. ? No wonder he likes to give orders.

Emotionally stable sanguine people get along well with emotionally unstable melancholic people, and emotionally stable phlegmatic people complement unstable choleric people.

3. Rely on intuition

It is called intuition, sixth sense, inner voice, premonition. We say that we sense danger in our hearts and feel trouble with our skin. Sometimes we brush this feeling aside, but later we most often regret it.

The person has charmed us, and we stubbornly refuse to notice the signals being given. This may be restlessness, anxiety, a feeling of goosebumps running down the back, discomfort. Something worries us, but we ignore our inner voice. But in vain, because he rarely makes mistakes.

True, not everyone has developed intuition. But this can be easily corrected by reading “Development of Intuition. How to make the right decisions without doubt and stress” by English psychologist Guy Claxton.

4. Dropping the masks

“We were such good friends, we were inseparable, but then we went to the seaside together and it turned out that she had a disgusting character. She’s petty, grumpy, always dissatisfied with everything,” one friend complains to another. “I could hardly stand it and I don’t want to see her anymore!” “It’s simply impossible!” the second one is offended.

What happened? The girls left their comfort zone and found themselves in non-standard situation, and they had to deviate from their usual behavioral patterns. Essentially, they dropped their masks and showed their real selves, namely: selfish, intolerant, unable to build relationships and get out of them without moral losses.

Another example. In a small work team, one of the employees lost a brand new smartphone. She insisted that she had it with her this morning, which means it was stolen by one of her colleagues. Before our eyes, the sweet, friendly girl turned into an angry fury, who had complaints against everyone. The next day she apologized because the ill-fated smartphone was found at home, she simply forgot it. But, as the joke says, “the spoons were found, but the sediment remained.”

If we want to get to know a person better, then the more extraordinary the situation in which we find ourselves with him, the less he is prepared for it, the greater the chance that he will open up and show his inner essence.

Oksana Sergeeva.

How to learn to understand people? 49 simple rules

Introduction

A person's character is a book with many encrypted and lost pages. We usually judge people rashly, based on their first impression, which is often deceptive. A lot of time passes before we really understand what kind of person is in front of us, what motivates him, why he behaves this way and not otherwise. After some time, our attitude towards a person can change radically: bores turn into the most interesting people for us, and people who at first seemed funny and attractive turn out to be banal buffoons from a cheap booth.

The ability to understand people is a whole science. We will proceed from the idea that bad and good people does not happen: we will not condemn anyone and hang the stigma of a loser or a coward, condemn a person, judge him. We will simply help you find your approach to people with different characters, with different life principles and moral values. We will make an attempt to understand the diversity of human individualities. And then it’s up to you to choose: do you want to communicate with this particular person, put up with his shortcomings, try to appreciate his few advantages or not.

In life, we often encounter difficulties in communicating with different types of people. We will talk about how to overcome these difficulties, how to make communication with any person pleasant and useful. When communicating with people around you, you must remember that each person has his own style of communication, his own way of expressing thoughts. If you take into account the specific personality characteristics of each specific interlocutor, then you will definitely be able to find mutual language with any person, you will master the science of being liked and will be able to achieve your goals during communication. We will help you with this.

Chapter 1
Emotions and feelings are the mirror of the human soul

To understand what kind of person is in front of you, you must first of all pay attention to how he expresses his emotions, which feelings dominate in him, and which are not developed at all. After all, emotions and feelings are a person’s attitude to the world, an expression of his desires and interests. You can draw a conclusion about a person’s character by finding out what causes positive emotions in him and what is the subject of negative emotions.

Rule #1

Can a person express his emotions: about emotional and hyper-emotional people

Based on a person’s ability to express their emotions, we divide people into emotional and unemotional. The former are quite sensitive to what is happening around them, their sensory world is diverse, they express their attitude towards the world and others through all kinds of emotions - anger, despondency, melancholy, tenderness, etc.

There is an opinion that emotional people are easier to communicate with and it is easier to approach them. There is no need to ask them whether they liked the movie they just watched or the new employee who joined your company. The emotions that overwhelm them burst out on their own.

An emotional person is in a hurry to talk about his impressions and experiences. This certainly makes communication with them attractive: it is always interesting to be with them.

But sometimes excessive emotionality is an irritating factor for others. If emotions do not allow a person to calm down, he needs to throw them out on someone. Emotional people They are constantly looking for an object on which to dump the burden of impressions from just an experienced conversation with their boss or from a quarrel with a saleswoman in a store. Such obsession and emotional outbursts can not only irritate you, but cause your emotional fatigue (it’s as if you yourself are experiencing the emotions of a stranger). Hyper-emotional people, as a rule, express their emotions regardless of the desire of others to listen to them - this is vital for them. But it’s not always pleasant for others, especially if the emotions are negative.

How to communicate correctly with emotional and over-emotional people? First of all, remember that they need to be listened to, they need to express everything that has accumulated. Therefore, you should listen to them, but do not get carried away by their experiences. Be a little selfish: pretend that you are listening to them and are absorbed in their emotional story, but under no circumstances take everything you hear to heart. Emotional people tend to exaggerate. If their story takes too long, don’t be afraid to stop them, interrupt them, citing your busyness.

Rule #2

How to communicate correctly with unemotional individuals: about people without emotions

People who are unemotional tend to limit the range of expressed emotions to a minimum. They show their emotionality only in extraordinary, stressful situations. IN ordinary life they are not inclined to demonstrate their experiences.

It can be difficult for us to understand a person’s feelings, to understand his attitude to surrounding objects, and even to ourselves, if he does not openly express his emotions. Emotional people seem mysterious and secretive to us; it seems that they have something evil on their mind. It's not for nothing that the best spies and secret agents They are excellent at hiding their emotions. The ability to hide one’s feelings makes a person practically invulnerable: we cannot understand what kind of person is in front of us, and therefore we begin to fear him. Sometimes you have to study it for a long time before it becomes clear how it relates to a particular phenomenon, person or event. The emotions of another person give us a good idea of ​​his inner world: we can determine how he lives, what he feels. But if our interlocutor is stingy in expressing his emotional experiences, then we become uncomfortable in his company, we don’t know what to expect from him.

In fact, unemotional people do not hide anything, do not hide anything from others, they are just used to expressing their attitude towards the world differently: not through emotions, but through thoughts.

The difficulty of communicating with unemotional people is largely exaggerated. Indeed, people of this type will not immediately talk about their experiences; it is not easy to determine from them how they relate to others: they can skillfully hide their sympathy or hostility. Non-emotional individuals are, as a rule, people with a well-developed intellectual sphere - they feel little, but think well, they prefer to express their view of what is happening, having weighed and analyzed everything well. Their attitude to the world is always more thoughtful and reasonable than that of emotional people. It is quite easy to find an approach to such people - you just need to push them to talk about their impressions. Try asking them what they think about this or that matter. In a conversation with people of this type, you should not resort to questions related to assessing their emotional perception; it is easier for them to express their attitude to the subject of conversation in the form of unemotional and well-reasoned conclusions.

Rule #3

What emotions predominate in a person: about people with a positive attitude

In life, we encounter a variety of situations that make us experience a variety of emotions - positive and negative. A person who has received a charge of positive energy is considered a more pleasant and interesting interlocutor. Is it so?

Positive people are in some way a source of recharge, they can improve your not very good mood, they are willing to make contact. Of course, it cannot be denied that people who get off the wrong foot, feel great, get to work without traffic jams, and, in general, are charged with positive energy for the whole day, become somewhat selfish in communicating with others. They believe that a great start to the day automatically means that the whole day should be excellent: colleagues and loved ones are happy, the boss is in a good mood, the weather is great. They see everything in rosy terms, protect themselves from unnecessary worries and conflicts, wanting to maintain their good mood longer. Therefore, they may miss, for example, the fact that you are in some kind of trouble or are not feeling well. Forgive them for this.

How to communicate with positive-minded people? You shouldn’t run after this person all day, hoping that they will give you your portion of positive energy. The best behavior is to encourage your colleague or loved one throughout the day, as if supporting his positive attitude, find his jokes successful, give compliments - and then you will feel that you yourself are very well recharged for the whole day. Don't gloat if your morning didn't bring you as many positive emotions. Carriers of positive emotions are not an eternal Energizer battery; their mood can quickly change if it is not stimulated. If you try to maintain this positive light at work or at home, then you yourself will be charged with positive energy, but if you immediately extinguish it out of envy or irritability, then you will establish an atmosphere of hostility and discomfort.

Rule #4

What emotions predominate in a person: about people with a negative attitude

It is generally accepted that it is easier to communicate with positive people than with people experiencing negative emotions. But what about people who are usually negative? Is it worth communicating with them or is it better to avoid all contact?

It is much more difficult to approach people who are negative, as they are embittered and filled with negative emotions.

Remember one thing: you should not ignore a person who is filled with negative energy. If you don’t try to help him relieve stress at the very beginning, then this negativity will definitely begin to spread to others. Of course, you should not act as a psychotherapist and run to your loser colleague and demand that he tell you what is bothering him.

But this does not mean that you cannot help him: you can defuse the situation and remove the negativity by showing basic human attention, for example, treating him to your delicious flower tea or providing assistance not as a service, but as a friendship and doing a small part of his work, unless, of course, it's a burden to you.

Rule #5

Are human emotions active: about sthenics and asthenics

People who have predominant active emotions, such as joy, anger, anger, etc., are usually called sthenics. Their emotions always cause an upsurge of strength, excitement, and tension. In contrast to them, asthenics are people who experience emotions that suppress vigorous activity and reduce a person’s energy, for example, melancholy, sadness, despondency, depression.

It is very easy to distinguish sthenics from asthenics. The former, under the influence of their experiences, are capable of active actions. For example, the pleasure of playing music makes sthenics want to sing along and dance to the beat, while asthenics are limited to facial expression of their emotions (half-smile, smile, closed eyes). Fear, for example, forces a sthenic to mobilize all his real and potential capabilities. The asthenic, experiencing fear, enters into a stupor.

Difficulties in communication arise if they communicate with each other, i.e. one of the interlocutors is asthenic, the other is asthenic. You can master the science of communicating with a representative from another group if you begin to take into account his difference from you, his special, specific traits that you do not possess.

When communicating with a stenik, you should not be surprised by his vigorous activity and desire to actively express his emotions. Be tolerant of the fact that your interlocutor will be in a state of constant emotional stress. If something outrages him, he will definitely be outraged “out loud”; if he is happy, then very actively; if he gets angry, then in such a way that others will notice it. You shouldn’t stop the stenik and ask him to behave more modestly. The most correct model of behavior is to wait out the “storm”, give him the opportunity to speak out, express his emotions. The advantages of communicating with asthenics: they are active, easy-going, most often positive-minded, quite mobile, and more sociable than asthenics.

Asthenics may seem unemotional people in appearance. But in fact, they experience more restrained emotions, which do not push them to active activity; they are more passive and motionless. Sometimes they are said to be boring, always sad and dreary. When communicating with such people, it is best not to put pressure on them, not to insist on a more active expression of emotions (for example, you would like your asthenic interlocutor to express his anger openly, and not just mutter something under his breath; for an asthenic person – this is an impossible task). You need to get used to the fact that their emotions are expressed in a boring way. There are also advantages to communicating with asthenics: their emotions are more stable than those of asthenics. They are characterized by deep internal concentration, which indicates the thoughtfulness of their actions. They prefer to first analyze their impressions, and only then take specific actions.

Rule #6

How to communicate with people in a good or bad mood: about people with a constant emotional background

Each person has his own emotional background, which we call mood. In life we ​​meet people with a positive emotional background and a negative one. Simply put, we have to communicate with people who are always in a good mood or always in a bad mood.

People of the first group are easy to communicate with - those who are usually in a good mood. These people are quite positive about communication, they often smile. It is very easy to find an approach to such people: they are quite open and are happy to make contact. You can talk to them on almost any topic. Although there are also disadvantages in communicating with these people: they are not easily alarmed, their positive emotional background is quite stable, so do not expect sincere condolences from them if you suddenly tell them about your grief or life difficulties. Most often, such people avoid conversations on “sad” topics or do not take them seriously.

Communicating with people who are always in a bad mood is not a pleasant experience. We feel like talking to them can ruin our own mood. We give such people the most unpleasant nicknames behind their backs - “grump”, “grumpy”, etc. In the team they often turn out to be black sheep, since they are not liked. Remember that their bad mood should not be interpreted as a reluctance to communicate with other people. They also need communication. In order for communication with such people to bring certain results, so that your conversation is not a burden to either you or your interlocutor, adhere to the following rules.

Don't try to cheer up your gloomy interlocutor. Such people don't need it. Remember that their bad mood is not a consequence of any troubles or life problems, this is their normal state. Your attempt, for example, to tell them a joke will be perceived negatively, your efforts will not be appreciated, you will definitely not hear the desired laughter at the end of your story, but will encounter bewilderment on the part of your interlocutor. Such people can only be cheered up by a very joyful event that will be directly related to them. Don't ask them to smile back when you smile. This is not typical for people with a constant negative emotional background. Even if they follow your advice, their smile will look unnatural.

You will have to get used to their specific attitude towards the world around them: they question everything. Their life credo: expect a blow from life at any moment.

Such people are not always failures in life. A bad mood can be characteristic even of successful people who are making good progress in life. Their mood is a kind of protective reaction of the body. They insure themselves in advance in case of failure, the collapse of their plans and hopes. If they fail at something, no one will even notice any visible changes in their behavior. If a major deal or a desired business trip abroad falls through, it will be easier for them to hide their disappointment.

Rule No. 7

Does a person’s mood change quickly: about people with “moods”

Sometimes we have to communicate with people with changeable moods. The emotional background of such people changes very often and suddenly, when we do not expect it. Any little thing, any detail can easily ruin their positive attitude. And some inappropriate or unsuccessful joke will make them laugh - and they will forget about their many problems.

People with unstable moods are very difficult to communicate with. Usually, their behavior and sudden emotional swings can confuse us, we can forget about the purpose of the conversation, and lose our thoughts. The reaction of people in moods can be unpredictable; we cannot predict how they will react, for example, to our request to work on the weekend or to the fact that their expected promotion is temporarily postponed.

How to communicate with such people correctly? In a conversation, you should adhere to the tactic of “getting ahead of your interlocutor.” You must take a strictly leading position in the conversation, as if ahead of their emotional reaction to your words. For example, if you have to tell a person in a moody news unpleasant news, it is better to start with it right away, without putting it off for a long time. If you report something unpleasant at the end of the conversation, then this person will definitely have an unpleasant aftertaste about the entire conversation as a whole. After, for example, you inform that a long-awaited vacation is postponed until next month, try to immediately restore your colleague’s emotional balance - reassure him that next month trips will be much cheaper, and the weather in the hot country where he is going will be more gentle, so acclimatization will not be so difficult. Remember that for people who are subject to sudden mood swings, their mood can be quickly ruined, but it can be easily lifted afterward. The main thing is never leave him with bad thoughts alone. Always leave on a good note.

Try to always control your conversation, don’t miss the main point, and don’t give in to your partner’s mood swings. Very often, people who are able to adapt depending on the situation very easily manipulate others. Feeling that they are about to have an unpleasant conversation, they may get ahead of you and complain about their problems, thereby making you feel sorry for them. You have a desire to postpone the conversation until a more convenient moment. Don’t be led by such people - always say what you were going to say, don’t put off the conversation.

There are also certain advantages of communicating with moody people. It’s always interesting to be with them: they don’t bore you with monotonous grumbling or their always good mood. They are always different, new. They are very mobile, easily adapt to the situation, and are able to express sincere joy and true condolences.